Rainy days and Mondays…always get me down.

Well, today IS a rainy Monday. And I’m not feeling too good…feverish, got a sore throat, cough, and a throbbing headache. I was not able to go and do my practicum today for grad school…which is a real pain.

However, a movie shown this morning on HBO helped me beat the doldrums. It was one of my favorites–the 2005 film adaptation of the musical, “The Producers.” Even if I watched it several times, I still laugh at the comical quips that come one after the other. I just love it. Thank you, Mel Brooks. He was, as one of the lines in the film go, “having a stroke…” “What?!” “Of GENIUS!”

Here are just some of the many hysterical lines in the film that made me forget my blues for awhile:

Max Bialystock (in prison):

I’m drowning here! I’m going down for the last time! I… I… I see my whole life flashing before my eyes! I see a weathered old farmhouse… With a white picket fence… I’m running through fields of alfalfa with my collie, Rex. No Rex, not on the alfalfa. And I see my mother… I see Mama, standing on the back porch… And I hear her calling out to me…”Alvin, don’t forget your chores! The wood needs a-cuttin’ and the cows need a-milkin’! Alviiiiin! Aaaaalviiiiiiiiiiiin!”… Wait a minute. My name’s not Alvin. That’s not my life. Someone else’s life is flashing before my eyes. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? I’m not a hillbilly, I grew up in the Bronx!”

Leo Bloom (talking to Max):

I’M HYSTERICAL! I’M HYSTERICAL! (Bialystock splashes him with a glass of water) … I’M WET! I’M WET! I’M WET AND I’M HYSTERICAL! (Bialystock then slaps him) …I’M IN PAIN! I’M IN PAIN AND I’M WET AND I’M HYSTERICAL!”

Franz Liebkind (angry at the actors portraying Hitler):

The Führer vasn’t a mousy little mama’s boy! The Führer vas BUTCH!”

Carmen Ghia (answering the door):

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…. (Max tries to say: I–) Sssssssssssssssssssss?”

Franz Liebkind (being arrested):

I vas never a member of the Nazi Party! I only followed orders. I had nothing to do vith the var! I didn’t even know there vas a var. Ve lived at the back, near Svitzerland. All ve heard vas yodelling… yoodle le he hoo! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo, Yodelay, Yodelay, Yodelay-WHO ARE YOU!?!”


Secretary-slash-receptionist? Okie-slash-dokie!”

Franz Liebkind:

AQAP! [pause] As quick (kvick) as possible!”

Carmen Ghia (on the phone):

Hello, the living room of renowned theatrical director Roger Debris, elegant of the eastside townhouse on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in June. Who may I say is calling? [Got angry] Listen, you broken down old queen, he was drunk, he was hot, you got lucky, don’t ever call here again! [Roger in other room: Who was that!?]
Wrong number!”


Ulla wake up at five A.M. every day. From five to seven, Ulla like to exercise. From seven to eight, Ulla like to take long shower. From eight to nine, Ulla like to have big Swedish breakfast. Many different herrings. From nine to eleven, Ulla like to practice her singing and her dancing. And at eleven, Ulla like to have sex. … What time should I get here? [Max and Leo: “Eleven”]”


Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!”

If you haven’t seen the movie-slash-musical, go and get one…AQAP!