Not feeling great lately. Pushing myself to do stuff not because i want to (it’s because i have to). As a result, I’m a bit behind work and school.  Hope it’s just a phase though. Need to kick myself in the a**.  Kept reminding myself to do one step at a time, and that before you know it, it’s done.

Guess i’m having a slight case of mild burn-out. Mindtools says, according to their “burn-out online test,” i got a score of 45 and that I’m “at risk.”

The Science of Burn-Out:

Burn-out could be caused by different reasons: exhaustion (physical and emotional), diminished interest, or depersonalization/cynicism.  (Info source: wikipedia) I guess I’m just exhausted from meeting deadlines and the stress brought about by such.  I think my experience from undergoing my recently-concluded practicum is now taking its toll on me–physically and emotionally.  Before, it was “rah-rah-rah!” But now that it’s done, I’m like: “don’t care…leave me alone.”

(Based on my experience, I just like to add that burn-out can be accompanied with a sense of ‘purposelessness’… Times like these, I often ask myself, “What’s the point?” If there is none [and even if there is, you just don’t WANT to see it], it’s hard to wake up, face the day and go through all the usual routine.)

To recover, one suggestion that I’m keeping in mind is to use burnout as a trigger for personal growth:

This is probably one of the most positive ways that people manage burnout: By using it as a wakeup call to re-evaluate the way they want to live their lives and what they want to achieve.

The site suggests that in order to do this…you should:

  • “…understand why you are burning out.” Ok did that already. Next.
  • Move on and evaluate your goals…Self-Reflect. Right…
  • Then, redirect or change your direction to reach those new (or same) goals.” … Goals are seen as the exit if you’re stuck in a maze (or a rut) and can’t get out. It is like bringing back that sense of purpose that you lost along the way (which is basically to get out of the damned maze!) Ok, got it. Thanks.

I would like to add one tip though: And if you have accomplished your goals, give yourself a reward for a getting yourself out of the rut! (I’m smiling now as I’m thinking of MY reward)

That and chanting a personal mantra can help, too, I guess…   one step at a time… one step at a time… one step at a time…

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…TODAY, the bus fare going to Manila from my place increased by a WHOPPING 14 PESOS! I don’t commute to Manila everyday…but my heart goes out to those who do.  Imagine, they will need to add 28 pesos daily to their fare…amounting to 140 pesos more for every week, leading to an additional 560 pesos for each month!

Oh…my…God…I can’t breathe…I need water…or better yet just tell me if it’s over while I go and crawl under a big rock…

Grumbacher (comforting me at right): There, there…it’s going to be alright…um, I know it is a bad time to ask this, SL, but…can I have my own blog?

My blog is relatively new (just 3 days old). It was my first time to use wordpress. I’ve managed a blog before–and it was with the other one, namely, blogger. There were times I wished I never switched at all…

My first post practically took me hours to manage and complete. I didn’t fare any better with the next one. Being mabusisi (detail-fixated), I go back, delete, drag and drop, move an item, browse, upload, link up, unlink, go back, delete, edit, re-edit, etc., all the time cursing and wishing, “Maybe I’m not cut out for this…” My uploaded pictures either disappeared without a trace or just won’t stay put…platial mapkit sucks…and lay-outing my posts generally took a lot of my patience and self-control that I felt I’ll go berserk in any moment. It was like Mr. WordPress was telling me ala Sergeant Foley in “An Officer and a Gentleman:” “You can forget it! GET OUT!” No way! I’m not a quitter…and so I persevered…

Aaargh! Ang hirap naman ng @#%*! ito!!! But I won’t quit…I can’t quit! I got nowhere else to go…I got nothin’ else…huhuhu!!! I lament as Grumbacher patiently looks on…

Now, as I look back…I think I did pretty good work for a start. The patience paid off. And in the end, I took back about wanting to go back to blogger.

WordPress is way cooler, more sophisticated, and much hipper than the other one. It may not be idiot-friendly (anyway, who wants to attract idiots?), a bit snobbishly-restricting (understandably, to protect against hackers and viruses), and had limited fixed themes (which is hard for me being an advocate for the right to be unique and different)…but it had its rewards. I’m glad I’m in it! Or you can say, I kinda lifted myself up where I belong…

Grumbacher (rolling his eyes): Oh brother!